Home Truths

Tom and I have been staying with my parents and younger brother for a while now as we prepare for the next adventure. Although it has been a looooong time since I lived at home (around ten years!) I’ve found that some things never change…and some do. So seeing as Cyclone Lusi is about to rear her head and we’re all stuck inside about to torture each other no doubt, what better time to reflect on our time back in the bay (NOT the bay of plenty I might add – the proper one, Hawkes Bay).

1. If you want something done properly, get Dad to do it (or don’t but he will do it anyway).

2. My parents have officially surpassed me when it comes to technology – well, the ownership at least…there are still daily struggles with operation. My Nokia sits embarrassed in the corner while the other smartphones, iPad and shiny new iMac make fun of it.

3. Said Nokia and all other mobile devices only receive calls in a particular spot in the lounge.

4. Tom has holed himself up in this same corner of the lounge and it is now his ‘study’.

5. Tom spends a lot of time in the study.

6. My mother grocery shops for the apocalypse…every fortnight. I have never seen so many stockpiles of margarine and soy milk in my life.

7. She also happens to cook better meals than I could ever pay for in a restaurant.

8. The small dog has surpassed my brother and I in the family hierarchy.

9. As has the coffee machine.

10. The small dog is slightly mad and addicted to what I assume must be the equivalent of dog crack (little strips suspiciously called ‘Jer-High’ snacks).

11. Somehow my glass of water turns to wine after 6pm.

12. Bed time is circa 9.30pm on weeknights (potentially due to the aforementioned miracle).

13. Dad jokes are prevalent, particularly around dinner time.

14. Since moving home, my brother has forgotten how to do his own laundry.

15. He also still watches a lot of cartoons and men yelling about sports on ESPN.

16. If the space left on the MySky drops to below 40% there is a blind panic and no show whether it’s yet to be viewed or set for ‘keep’ is safe.

17. Mum still shouts “Here’s a go!!!” at the telly for approximately 80% of a rugby game.

18. The washing machine is depressed. It has a penchant for destroying bras and a tendency to try and escape the daily grind by flying off it’s rocker during spin cycle.

19. Both of my parents harbour a strange addiction to computer Solitaire. I can actually hear the fancy new computer sighing when they open it up.

20. Last but not least, we are very lucky to be living here while we plan our future – it really is home sweet home.

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